Photo by Max Oppenheim/Getty
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A Wish for the Ages
By Karen Westerberg Reyes, September & October 2006
2.9 million Americans turn 60 this year. A new AARP survey reveals their secret desires
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I celebrated a momentous birthday this year, my 60th, along with about 2.9 million other Americans born the same year, 1946. We were the first of the so-called baby-boom generation: we strained the maternity wards and overwhelmed the school systems, and we've not been quiet for a minute since. During the 1960s we filled the Vietnam War quotas and fueled the Make Love, Not War movement. Since then we've generally done things pretty much one way—our way. We are the first of the generation that vowed never to trust anyone over 30, and now we're twice that age. It's given us a lot to think about.
AARP wanted to capture some of those thoughts, so we asked a nationally representative sample of 800 people born in 1946 a simple question: if you could have anything you want for your 60th birthday, what would it be? Simple, yes, but the answers speak volumes about who we new sexagenarians are, where we're going, and how we've come to terms with the past 60 marvelous, chaotic, and eventful years of our lives.
Needless to say, the answers were all over the place. Predictable, we're not. Conventional? No way. Despite our group's aversion to being labeled, AARP researchers were able to sort the answers into loose categories, some of which I'm going to explore here, but not in any particular order.
To begin with, very few (1 percent) answered "world peace." We may have thought that goal possible when we wore flowers in our hair, but we're now a bit more pragmatic—though not without hope. What many of those surveyed did ask for was love, hugs, someone to do things with, to be with, family to visit them. One reality of this stage of life is starting to become evident—being alone. Children are grown. Many of us are divorced; some, widowed. And then there are those of us who, for whatever reason, just aren't as connected as we used to be. Some, like those in the survey, look back on the what-ifs or the might-have-beens. One woman wishes she could once again see the man she had an affair with. Another longs to see his old girlfriend. Many of us still think about that first love, the one that got away, the real or imagined opportunity lost.
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We're also at an age when we're starting to lose more and more people near and dear to us. When I find out someone my age or younger has died, I quickly look for the cause of death. I may be 60, but my soul hovers somewhere around 35. And I hang on to life with all the vigor of a 35-year-old.
When those surveyed were asked what one area of their lives they most wanted to improve in the next five years, more than a third said their health. Many of their wishes also reflect this: one person asked for a new heart, another wanted to be cancer free, a few just wanted to be able to walk again. A number summed it up simply: to be healthy. Like it or not, our bodies are starting to send reminders that we are well over half a century old. Even the healthiest of us have some minor and pesky ailments that come with age: an arthritic knee, high blood pressure, or a rising cholesterol level—conditions that make our doctors take notice, the herald of things that might come if we don't take care now.
Beyond love, companionship, and health for ourselves and our loved ones, a lot of those surveyed wished for, of course, money. The results of this study, says Nancy LeaMond, head of AARP's Office of Social Impact, give us ever more insight into the needs (and wishes) of this first wave of boomers as well as those of all Americans 50 and older. "AARP wants them to have the active, healthy, and economically secure lives they envision," she says.
Perhaps the most significant finding of the study, however, is not what we wish for as we march into our 60s, but how happy we are with what we've done and who we are. An extraordinary majority of those surveyed (77 percent) are satisfied with their lives. And an even larger number look forward to the coming years with confidence (85 percent), hope (86 percent), and a large measure of excitement (70 percent). To build on a familiar slogan from our youth: We've Come a Long Way, Baby. But it's evident that we believe we still have a long way to go.
Turning 60 this year? Visit our message board to tell us your birthday wish.
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