Photography by Lee Snider/CORBIS
|
Web Exclusive…
No Straight Answers
By Randy B. Hecht, May & June 2004
America’s older gays and lesbians struggle with health care, inheritance, retirement benefits, social services, prejudice, and more
|
A recent widow at age 55, Joan Albertson* fears she may be forced to sell
her home because of various estate taxes and the significant drop in household
income.
Joan met Lee* in 1990, and they moved in together three years
later. They danced at family members' weddings, moved for one another's
work, and, although they never got married, considered themselves spouses.
In fact, they could not be married—they are lesbians.
And so when Lee was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, she and Joan
completed health care proxy documents. Joan recalls accompanying Lee to almost
every doctor's appointment over seven years of illness. "Mostly, our
experience with her health care providers and hospitals was sensitive and
caring," she says. "But getting access to her medical records
required extra faxes and signatures. And when my partner was heavily sedated
with morphine and could not speak on the phone, one of her doctors refused to
discuss her situation with me despite my holding her health proxy.
"In October, my partner died at age 66—at home, as she had
requested. Because we could not be married, I was not allowed to sign the
death certificate. Massachusetts law requires 'next of kin.' "
Now, Joan fears she may have to sell their home because she lacks the legal
and financial protections that would come automatically if she had been
married. The house was purchased in both names with rights of survivorship.
Joan must pay taxes on Lee's share of the house, which, she says, would not
be the case if they had been married. "Her estate is taxed at a higher
rate than would be true for married couples. This reduces the amount of money
available to her [heirs], which includes her four children, five grandchildren,
her church, and other charities," Joan says.
Joan won't get her partner's Social Security benefits and pension,
either. The survivor of a married couple would have collected both.
Joan is far from alone. Many older gays and lesbians face a wide range of
problems concerning inheritance, retirement benefits, social services, health
care, and more. Indeed, more than one in four same-sex couples includes a
partner over age 55, according to a recent report by the Human Rights Campaign
Foundation, the research arm of the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the
nation's largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) advocacy
organization. (Read the report in PDF format.)
In addition to missing out on Social Security benefits and being charged
with an estate tax on a jointly owned home, an older homosexual whose partner
dies may also incur taxes exceeding tens of thousands of dollars after
inheriting a retirement plan, according to the HRC Foundation report.
HIV/AIDS Among Older Gays and Lesbians
According to the National Institute on Aging, about 75,000 people diagnosed
with AIDS in the United States—or 10 percent of the total
number—are age 50 or older. Many others may be too embarrassed to get
tested for HIV. And doctors may mistake symptoms of HIV for other illnesses or
signs of aging, says Terry Kaelber, executive director of the nonprofit Senior
Action in a Gay Environment. "It's really important for the provider
to know the sexual orientation of their patient, and very often that's
hidden if people don't feel safe."
With married couples, "when someone dies, their surviving spouse has
the opportunity to roll over the amount into a tax-deferred retirement plan of
their own or an IRA or, in some cases . . . accept this benefit in an annuity
that is in periodic payments as opposed to taking it in a lump sum,"
explains David Tseng, executive director of PFLAG (Parents, Families and
Friends of Lesbians and Gays), who served as a senior policy advisor in the
Clinton Administration, focusing on benefits and retirement policy.
"Same-sex couples do not have those alternatives." The surviving
beneficiary must withdraw the amounts immediately, Tseng says.
That point resonates with many older Americans of all sexual orientations,
says Massachusetts state representative Liz Malia, a lesbian who also serves as
a leading voice in the state's legislative and judicial battle over the
constitutionality of denying same-sex marital rights. She's talked with
many constituents about the issue. "How do we help gays and lesbians who
have been together for a long time protect their investments if one dies?
People lose their homes because they just can't manage," she says.
"A lot of older people really are very understanding of what this is about
and are much more tolerant than some younger people, because . . . they
identify with them. If you can identify and not compare, it makes it a lot
easier to make the jump from what you've been traditionally, culturally
used to, to what's fair and reasonable in this world."
'Do Right by Us'
For many older gays and lesbians, the marriage issue is irrelevant. They are
2.5 times more likely than older heterosexuals not to be in a relationship,
according to a 1999 study conducted by the nonprofit group Senior Action in a
Gay Environment (SAGE) and New York's Brookdale Center on Aging. Two-thirds
of older gays and lesbians live alone as they age, and 90 percent are
childless. Research has shown that people who age alone are more likely to
subsist on a limited income or even live in poverty. Their isolation also puts
them at increased risk for depression or other mental health problems,
substance abuse, unnecessary hospitalizations, premature residence in nursing
homes, and even premature death.
These risks are pronounced among older gays and lesbians because "the
vast majority of our community's seniors do not access mainstream
services," says Terry Kaelber, executive director of SAGE, founded 25
years ago to address the impact of aging on the gay and lesbian community.
"The very services that, when you age alone, become really critical are
services that either we don't access or, if we do access, we tend to do it
in very proscribed, anonymous ways."
Just getting gay seniors to take a flyer left at a senior center is a
challenge, says Bethany Joseph, director of client services at Brooklyn's
Park Slope Geriatric Day Center. In partnership with SAGE, the center has a
grant to fund gay and lesbian outreach initiatives.
Older gays and lesbians "come from a different generation, in which
being closeted was the norm, and you don't want to be the person that
stands up and goes over and takes a flyer that has the word gay or lesbian on
it for fear of what those repercussions are," Joseph says. "Will the
few informal supports that you do have disappear because now you've
'outed' yourself? It's a big risk. Is it going to be worth
it?"
In Massachusetts, the LGBT Aging Project is addressing these issues in
collaboration with home care agencies and nursing homes by training health care
service providers to address the needs of the LGBT community. Director Amy Hunt
explains, "It's not like we reject the notion that the gay community
needs on some level to care for itself and make its own way, but we also think
that it's very important to go into the mainstream environment and say,
'Do right by us.' There are institutions that some members of our
community rely on, and we have an obligation to go into those institutions and
help them do a better job." The advocacy group also works to raise public
awareness and change laws and public policies.
One issue that Hunt's organization addresses is straight people's
discomfort with openly gay relationships. At presentations and open discussions
at health care facilities, nursing homes, and senior centers, she asks people
to "imagine what it would be like if on their way into the senior center
that morning, they were asked to take their ring off their finger, and they
were asked to answer every question . . . without mentioning a husband or a
wife who they have at home, or perhaps who they buried last year and still like
to talk about. Could you get through that day? Could you get through that
conversation? Can you imagine what that's like? Do you understand that
you're asking people to do that when you ask them to keep it to
themselves?"
The need to feel comfortable at home, to have a sense of security, has
sparked the creation of gay retirement communities across the country. The
first, The Palms of Manasota, opened in 1998 in Palmetto, Florida, and now
includes 30 homes and 44 villas. Others have sprung up across the country: The
Pueblo, a recreational vehicle and mobile home community in Apache Junction,
Arizona; The Resort on Carefree Boulevard, a 278-home community in Fort Myers,
Florida; and Parkside Male Residential Hotel and Retirement Center, in Akron,
Ohio. Plans are underway for similar retirement communities and assisted-living
facilities in Boston, New York City, New Mexico, North Carolina, and other
locations.
"Gay and lesbian housing in some ways is a misnomer," says
Kaelber. "It's housing that is being sponsored by gay and lesbian
organizations. No one can discriminate against anyone coming into housing, and
that's true with this senior housing, but we want people to know from the
outset, 'Look . . . we celebrate the gay and lesbian community here. If you
want to be a part of that, great.' "
Older Americans' response to all this outreach is generally positive,
Hunt notes. Invariably, someone in a discussion group will say, "I have a
gay son, and I love him, or I have a gay grandchild, and I want everybody to
know that, and I love that grandchild the same as the others," she
explains. "So to think that this is a monolithic group of people, that
they have no interest in evolving or learning or talking, I think is wrong. I
think we underestimate older people in many, many ways."
* Names have been changed.
|
