Illustrations by John Kascht
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5 Notable Curmudgeons Defend Themselves
By Jean-Noel Bassior, November-December 2003
Oh, yeah? They beg to differ….
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Larry Elder
Radio host; author of The Ten Things You Can't Say in America. Status: Curmudgeon, "but I'm not crotchety."
"An honest man is always in trouble, but it's important for society to hear the truth. Some people think there are powers that can keep them down: racism, sexism, fill in your favorite ism. But my father succeeded in a world where people could literally say, 'I'm not hiring you because you're black.' If today's generation knew what that was like, maybe they wouldn't whine so much."
Susan Estrich
Political commentator; University of Southern California law professor. Status: "Curmudgeonette."
"If speaking my mind makes me a curmudgeon, then I'm in good company. But there's discrimination against outspoken women. Nine out of 10 opinion page pieces in newspapers are by men. Even if she's a nice person, the outspoken woman is called a bitch. I used to feel insulted, but now I just have to laugh. People write me e-mails commenting on my hair. I mean, does anybody comment on Bill O'Reilly's hair?"
Larry Gelbart
TV writer (Your Show of Shows, M*A*S*H); screenwriter (Tootsie). Status: Laughing Curmudgeon.
"Curmudgeons don't surrender to popular opinion. We know that movies aren't as good as they were, for example, but critics have to say they're better than they are because otherwise why are they wasting their time in the dark? As a result, audiences are disappointed. Even the old 'bad' might be better than the new 'terrible.' Curmudgeons reassure you that you're not alone in your anger and your disappointment and your hopes."
Richard Lewis
Standup comic; actor; author of The Other Great Depression. Status: Angst-Ridden Curmudgeon.
"My closest friends are those who don't try to be something they're not. I talk about everything, and I could care less what people think. Especially about aging, and how our DNA is unraveling. Like I'm at this five-star restaurant, and the waiter keeps insisting I use this little goat cheese fork for the salad. He makes such a big deal about it. I go, 'Fine, I'll use this little fork.' And I tear a ligament in my finger trying to grasp it."
Bill O'Reilly
Host, The O'Reilly Factor on FOX News and The Radio Factor nationwide. Status: Curmudgeon in Denial. (Also, nice hair.)
"I don't see myself as one. The definition of curmudgeon is 'a crusty, ill-tempered old man.' I'm not old. Maybe ill-tempered at times, crusty at times. A lot of people are prisoners of their ideology, and they don't hear the truth because it offends their ideology. When I feel there's an injustice going on, I take it as far as I can. If you get offended, you get offended."
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