Illustrations by John Kascht
|
Quiz: Are You a Crank?
By Ken Budd, November-December 2003
Take this quiz to find out. See below for the results
|
1. Things were a lot better:
a. 20 years ago
b. 40 years ago
c. Things have never been very good
2. A grande mocha caffe latte is:
a. Delicious
b. Expensive
c. What the hell is a grande mocha caffe latte?
3. The government is:
a. Too big
b. Too slow
c. Out to get me
4. Some children are playing kickball in the street. As you watch from the window, the ball rolls into your yard. Your best course of action is to:
a. Ignore it
b. Delight in the sweet innocence of children
c. Keep the ball
5. Music today is:
a. Edgy
b. Loud
c. You call that music?
6. Read the following statement: "When I was a kid, you could get a full steak dinner, a slice of pie—with ice cream—and a cup of coffee for 20 cents. Twenty damn cents. And this was good coffee, too—not that crap they serve now." This is:
a. True
b. Odd
c. The smartest thing I've ever read in your lousy magazine
7. The problem with kids today is:
a. Why are you asking me all these questions?
b. I've had enough of this nonsense
c. Leave me alone
Results
If you refused to take this quiz because it's a damn fool waste of time—and then wrote a lengthy, self-righteous letter explaining precisely why it was a damn fool waste of time—congratulations: You are officially a curmudgeon.
|
