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Great Sex
By Susan Jacoby, Modern Maturity, September-October 1999
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Additionally, the connection between good health and good sex was
universally acknowledged. For men age 60 and older, better health for
themselves—followed by better health for their partners—topped a
wish list of changes that would improve their sex lives. For women in the same
age group (with fewer physical problems than men), their partner's health
was the number one concern.
For women without a mate, finding a partner—as might be
expected—topped the list of changes that would improve their sexual
satisfaction. For 45- through 59-year-olds—many juggling the demands of a
two-career family with caring for children still at home—less stress and
more free time headed the list.
Nevertheless, health is also an important concern for younger people. One
out of four men under 60—and one in five women—say that better
health would enhance their sexual enjoyment. Moreover, this is a heavily
medicated generation. Nearly 36 percent of women age 45 through
59—compared with only 10 percent of women 75 and older—are on some
form of hormone replacement therapy. More than 14 percent of younger
women—compared with 8 percent of 60- through 74-year-olds—had
recently taken antidepressants or tranquilizers. One out of four men and women
in the youngest age group are already on high-blood-pressure medication.
In spite of the widespread use of medications, a startlingly high percentage
of those in all age groups are receiving no medical treatment for a number of
chronic conditions affecting sex as well as general health. For example,
arthritis and rheumatism were cited as sexual liabilities by more than 40
percent of women with a condition affecting their sex lives—but only half
of all women diagnosed with arthritis are currently receiving medical
treatment.
Similarly, only half of men diagnosed with benign prostate enlargement are
being treated, even though it was singled out by 18 percent of men who said
their sexual activity was impeded by health problems.
"There's an image of older people running off to doctors for every
little ache," says John McKinlay, Ph.D., an epidemiologist and director of
the New England Research Institutes in Watertown, Massachusetts. "In fact,
Americans are undertreated for so-called quality-of-life
conditions—diseases that aren't going to kill you tomorrow. As for
sexual difficulties, many patients and doctors have a 'don't ask,
don't tell' policy."
In the AARP/Modern Maturity study, books—not health
professionals—were cited as the number one source of sex information. The
dearth of candid doctor/patient discussions about sex may have a particularly
adverse impact on those taking common drugs—from high blood-pressure
pills to antidepressants—that can diminish libido in both men and women
and directly affect male potency.
Nearly 38 percent of men and 24 percent of women with health concerns cited
high blood pressure as a sexual inhibitor—suggesting ignorance of the
fact that a change in medication (or dosage) can alleviate adverse sexual side
effects.
Women—for whom depression is third on the list of sexual
inhibitors—may be especially likely to underestimate the sexual side
effects of drugs, because they don't experience the obvious symptom of
flagging potency.
But there's good news in the health findings for couples with a strong
emotional bond. Men and women whose emotional relationship was extremely or
very satisfying (two out of three) were more likely to continue taking pleasure
in their physical relationship regardless of their health difficulties.
Those who rated their health as fair-to-poor were only slightly less likely
than those in good-to-excellent health (59 percent versus 66 percent) to rate
their physical relationship with their partner as highly pleasurable.
In spite of the huge publicity surrounding the introduction of Viagra last
year, only one in ten of the men in the study said they used some medicine,
hormone, or treatment to enhance sexual performance, either currently (5.6
percent) or in the past (4.6 percent). Nearly half of those on medication said
they were using Viagra.
The real impact of Viagra may be its role in bringing impotence into the
open, as prominent figures like former Senator Robert Dole have gone public
with what used to be (and for many men, still is) an unmentionable source of
private shame.
Only 2.5 percent of men under 60 were completely impotent, but the figure
rose to nearly 16 percent for those 60 through 74 (the age group when prostate
cancer becomes more common), and to 37 percent at 75 and older. In the 60
through 74 group, an additional 23 percent of men reported "moderate"
impotence—defined as periodic difficulty in maintaining an erection good
enough for intercourse.
Although the 10 percent of men who had been or were being treated for
impotence represents a small sample, it is significant that more than 62
percent felt Viagra or other medical intervention had heightened their sexual
satisfaction. They were not making love more often (suggesting that many
partially impotent men had continued to try all along), but they were enjoying
sex more.
And more than half of women said that their partner's treatment for
impotence had increased their own pleasure. Only 5 percent said that enjoyment
had decreased.
In the AARP/Modern Maturity survey, women made it clear that if they
had enjoyed sex in the past, they could enjoy it with a partner taking Viagra.
"It was a wonderful feeling to be satisfied once again," said one
woman in her mid-50s. "The spark was back and he felt like a man
again." Said another: "We always had a great relationship, so
[Viagra] had no effect at all. It just made intercourse better."
A majority of women taking hormones or creams to improve sexual functioning
also said that their enjoyment of sex had increased. But that finding may not
be significant, because less than 3 percent were taking such medication.
(Hormone replacement therapy, which so many women take for other reasons but
may have some sexual benefits, was not included in the question.)
Finally, the study offers a reminder of the fact that inner emotional life
is often more complicated, and more surprising, than bedroom performance
ratings. Describing characteristics of their sexual partners, the oldest
couples offered a touching tribute to the imaginative power of enduring
love.
Women 75 and older are much more likely than women under age 60 (53 percent
versus 29 percent) to describe their husbands as romantic. Do men actually become
more romantic as they get older? Or do older women just value their partners
more? And does it really matter?
Ratings of physical attractiveness are even more intriguing. Among 45-
through 59-year-old men, approximately 59 percent gave their partners the
highest possible rating for physical attractiveness; for those 75 and older,
that figure was 63 percent.
Among women, the proportion who described their partners as highly
attractive was 57 percent at age 75 and older; compare that with the 52 percent
rating from their younger counterparts, who are in their mid- to late 40s and
50s.
At an age when physical beauty, as measured by the standard of youth, is
declining, these older lovers are holding up a different mirror to one another.
They are seeing what no statistical portrait can truly capture—what John
Donne described in the 17th century in his "Autumnal" elegy:
No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace,
As I have seen in one autumnal face . . .
If we love things long sought, age is a thing
Which we are 50 years in compassing.
New York writer Susan Jacoby also wrote our article about AARP's latest
sex survey.
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