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10 Smart First-Date Ideas for Singles 50+
By Sacha E. Cohen, November-December 2003
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There's no question that first dates can be nerve-wracking. What to wear? What to say? Where to go? All that uncertainty is compounded when it's not just a first date—but perhaps your first date in decades.
Older singles who haven't been "out there" for a while may feel more comfortable going on a group date or participating in group activities such as a wine tasting or a seminar. Successful first dates at any age should center on common interests or hobbies. By tailoring a first date to include a shared value, you immediately establish a connection, says Lowell Jay Arthur, author of Attracting Romance (LifeStar, 1992).
What to avoid? Movies. "You can't talk to the other person, so how are you supposed to get to know them?" says dating expert Kris Kenney, who runs her own Denver-based dating service. And of course, don't plan any overnight trips. "Exit plans are essential if you don't really know the person too well," she says.
Even though times have changed, the essence of a first date is still the same: Focus on common interests, keep an open mind, and try to have fun.
Here are 10 smart first-date ideas—from active to creative to educational—that are ideal for more mature singles:
1. Spice it up As British cooking sensation Nigella Lawson has proven, cooking can be fun and sexy. Cooking classes for all levels and cuisines are available throughout the country. Check out the food section of your local paper, or go to the Culinary School Finder or the Cooking & Culinary School Directory.
2. Cut a rug Ballroom, salsa, swing, and samba. The choices are endless when it comes to dancing. Even if you haven't stepped on a dance floor in years, there are plenty of teachers who can help you, um, get back in the swing of things. Find a list of teachers and facilities at the DanceSpots Network. Besides being fun, dancing cheek-to-cheek may also help you determine whether there is chemistry or not.
3. Spread out Nothing is more romantic and soothing than a picnic by the lake or on the beach. Author and contributor to iMatchup.com Dr. Carole Altman says that this is an excellent first date if both people like the outdoors and the weather permits. She recommends that you shop for food and drink together, or, if you can't shop together, at least decide in advance what each of you will bring. "You should not take control of an early experience. It should be mutual and satisfactory for both of you," she says.
4. Take in the view Share a love of art by going on a gallery walk or museum tour, or sign up for an art history lecture at your local university. The ArtNet directory is a good starting point.
5. Set sail Take to the high seas—or even a nearby lake or canal. Keep it simple by renting a canoe or row boat, or splurge on a moonlight cruise. This date is fun in two ways, says Altman. "You are doing something that you can both enjoy, and you have the time and the setting for sharing, speaking, learning about each other."
6. Pursue literature What better way to bond than over your favorite books? Check out a book reading at your local bookstore or university. It's a great way to find common ground and keep the conversation flowing.
7. Get moving Perhaps your new friend enjoys hitting the courts or shares your passion for golf. All types of active outings make great first dates and help you stay in shape at the same time. Engaging in a physical activity can raise the level of intimacy, notes Altman, as you'll be more exposed both physically and emotionally. You will discover how the other person deals with winning and losing.
8. Make music Whether you're moved by opera, country, rock, or classical, attending an indoor or outdoor concert is sure to set the tone for a great evening. The Festival Network is a good place to start.
9. Cultivate romance If gardening is a shared passion, a trip to a plant nursery or arboretum could be a fun first-date idea, says Liz H. Kelly, a dating coach and contributing writer to MarsVenus.com.
10. Wine and dine What's the difference between Shiraz and Syrah? Find out at a wine tasting or by visiting a winery, suggests dating service owner Kris Kenny. Try Wine Spectator's winery database to find one near you. This type of date is ideal for a first encounter because it's casual and informative, and you're still able to talk to each other.
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