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How’d I Get So Fat?
By Anne Krueger, January & February 2005
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Americans spend about $30 billion each year on weight-loss products and
services. Of the nearly 80 percent of women who have tried one of today's
popular diets, 64 percent considered it a failure.
My husband tells me that all of my problems would be solved if I would go on
the Atkins diet. Just because he is an inch taller than me (he's all of
five feet five) and has recently lost 40 pounds and kept it off, he thinks he
knows everything about dieting. But, like many women, I know a lot more about
dieting than any man. After all, in the past decade I have lost more than 110
pounds, unfortunately not all together and not permanently. I have tried Atkins
(lost 30 pounds), tried Weight Watchers (lost 15 pounds), tried a liquid
protein diet (lost 30 pounds), tried diet pills (lost 35 pounds), tried Xenical
(lost weight and ran to the bathroom all the time)—and this was all when
I weighed under 160! Now that I've packed on 30 more pounds (yes, I did
gain back all of that weight, plus some), I don't think I can face another
diet. I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions, but dieting doesn't
seem to work for me.
This might have something to do with my unreasonable expectations, which it
turns out are common among obese people trying to slim down. Subjects in a 2001
study at the University of Pennsylvania chose an average weight-loss goal of a
whopping 32 percent of their body mass, more than three times the 10 percent
that the study's researchers deemed possible for them to lose through diets
alone. I can relate to these sorry souls; I would like to lose about 32 percent
myself—which would translate to about 61 pounds. But it just goes to show
how we disappoint ourselves by choosing unattainable goals. Like me wanting to
be the 25-year-old skinny-minnie I once was.
I'm not that surprised to learn that more than 90 percent of dieters
gain back what they've lost within two years. Research verifies what I
already know: many diets just don't work over the long run because
they're too restrictive and wacky to be sustainable. I don't know about
you, but after being on Atkins I can never face a pork rind again. And while I
buy into the notion that we all eat too many high-glycemic carbs (the white
ones, such as rice and bread, that break down too quickly into sugar), I just
can't try another diet that tells me to avoid an entire category of food.
Not to mention that according to the National Cancer
Institute, my yo-yo dieting decreases my long-term immune function by
reducing natural killer-cell activity in the blood system.
Of course, in spite of their poor rates of success, unsubstantiated claims,
or general impracticality, I'm still intrigued by some of the diet pitches.
Could I develop a better weight-loss program if I dieted according to my blood
type? What about if I could somehow starve my fat cells like they did with mice
at the University of Texas in Houston? All those quick-fix notions feed that
part of me that would really like to lose all my extra weight easily and not
have to do a damn thing. But not doing a damn thing is the problem. And
it's not going to work this time.
Forty-six percent of American women with children under 18 say they
experience stress frequently in their daily lives. The National Institutes of
Health says the key to successful weight loss is thinking of it as a lifestyle
change.
One of the hardest parts of being overweight is knowing that some people
think you're a lazy slob. Nothing could be further from the truth for me
and for most of the people I know who are struggling with their weight. Even
though exercise may not be my thing, I'm an extremely hard-working
mother/writer-editor/wife/community volunteer/you-name-it. In fact, you could
say there is nothing lazy about me at all, from the meals I cook to the
housework-cum-multitasking that I do every single minute of every single day.
Unfortunately, multitasking doesn't count as exercise or keep me thin. In
fact, the stress of it all seems to be making me even fatter.
In addition to being a type A, I'm probably also what Shawn Talbott,
Ph.D., calls a type C. The "C" stands for the stress hormone called
cortisol. Too much or too little cortisol can mess with sugar levels and
metabolism, ultimately causing increased appetite and weight gain, says
Talbott, author of
The Cortisol Connection: Why Stress Makes You Fat & Ruins Your Health
(Hunter House, 2002). "What do many of us do when we're
stressed?" he asks. "We pile up our plates—and we usually do it
with junk." To get cortisol levels back into a healthy range, he says, we
type C's have to give up our high-stress, low-sleep, no-exercise vicious
circle. "You live abnormally, which has become your normal. You have to
take time out and change how you live."
That's where I am now: trying to figure out how to change the way I
live. For starters, I have to "make peace with my food," says Evelyn
Tribole, M.S., R.D., author of
Intuitive Eating (St. Martin's Press, 2003). Her book talks about
hitting diet rock bottom and then picking up from there. Hitting rock bottom
means rejecting the diet mentality and all the rules and regulations that
involves, and tuning in to what your body is telling you about what it needs
and when it's hungry.
After digesting Tribole's advice, my first step toward food peace is to
sign up with a dietitian. I pick this plan of attack because, frankly, it seems
easier than going to the gym, although realistically I know that something with
the words physical activity in it can't be too far behind.
Individuals who monitor their dietary intake are more likely to be
successful at weight management or weight loss than those who do not.
Twenty-four percent of Americans report being very or somewhat confused about
how to eat a healthy diet.
At our first meeting, my dietitian, Karen Wetherall, a sports nutritionist
for the University of Tennessee Women's Athletic Department who focuses on
eating disorders, gazes at her hand as if she is holding something between her
finger and thumb. At first, I think she is hallucinating, but then I realize
that she is demonstrating how you would take a moment to study a raisin. This
is a lesson on "mindful eating." "Look at it. It's all
wrinkled," she says. She sniffs. "It smells sort of fruity. But when
you taste it, it's surprisingly sweet, maybe even a bit salty." I can
tell you that if anybody in my family walked by as I was euphorically smelling
a raisin, I would be either mocked for the rest of my life or carted away to
the loony bin. But I get the idea and, in fact, I even like the idea. I
don't have to run 20 miles a week; I just have to hold the food and look at
it a little while before eating it.
Well, not exactly, but thanks to Wetherall, I am starting to pay attention
to food in a different way. I am more mindful of whether foods are crunchy,
salty, or smooth, and of their color. I make a note of how hungry I am before I
eat, keep track of what I eat, and also track how satisfied I am after I eat.
"Research shows that we're bored with food after three bites,"
she says. "But instead of paying attention we go on to eat the entire four
cups of pasta, which is really eight servings."
It actually helps to think about food in this way, and, by also keeping a
diary of what I eat, I've been able to learn how to satisfy my cravings in
healthier ways. I do sometimes "forget" to write down every single
little something-or-other that I eat (especially if it's potato chips). But
I'm comforted by the notion that I don't have to starve myself. If
I'm hungry, I can eat.
For every pound of muscle you build, your body burns an extra 35 to 50
calories a day. Women who engage in resistance training maintain an elevated
metabolism for up to two hours after their workout, burning 100 more calories
post workout than women who don't exercise.
A light bulb has (finally) come on in my head that I'm not going to be
able to lose 40 pounds (my goal) by mindful eating alone. I have to find some
sort of tolerable exercise (chewing doesn't count). I have this epiphany as
I watch Karen Wetherall roll around on a fitness ball in her office. Here is
this professionally dressed dietitian with her butt up in the air demonstrating
"tightening" exercises. At first, instead of paying attention I roll
my eyes behind her back. Until I notice how well her pants fit. And that she is
truly having fun. And did I mention that her pants fit really well?
On my next trip to Target, I buy a fitness ball with an explanatory DVD.
"You have a ball in the basement," my husband says. "You threw
it out on big-garbage day," I respond. "You never used it," he
retorts. "You had it five years and you never even blew it up!"
Sometimes I think I'd be a lot thinner if I just didn't have a husband.
But this time I swear I am going to blow up the ball. The ball is a cool thing.
The ball is not matronly. I will roll on the ball.
I will also walk, thanks to friends who insist on calling me and reminding
me (forcing me!) to join them several times a week. Gossiping makes the
exercise fun, and if we're so out of breath that we have difficulty talking
we know we're doing something right. I now have a pedometer that helps me
check in on my physical activity. My goal: to reach 10,000-plus steps a day,
equivalent to about five miles.
There is also a chance that I'll start attending a 30-minute
strength-aerobics program that I signed up for a year ago at the local Curves
chain. The no-mirrors, no-men philosophy appeals to me, although the
fat-measuring calipers don't. Still, the one time I tried it I really felt
good afterward in that wrung-out, wet-dishrag sort of way.
So, my journey has begun. Converting to a healthier lifestyle hasn't
been a thrill a minute. Not much fun at all, really. But, it's even less
fun being fat. The way I feel about myself when I'm overweight permeates
everything I do, personally and professionally. Self-hate is not a pretty
thing. So I'm learning to make some changes, a day at a time, a bite at a
time, a step at a time. Sometimes, I'm finding, you just have to blow up
the ball and get rolling.
Anne Krueger's work has appeared in The New York Times, In Style,
American Health, and Martha Stewart Living, among other
publications.
Obesity's Effects
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