October 8, 2008



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Illustration by Hadley Hooper

Set Homeward Bounds

By Anne Cassidy, November & December 2006

How to handle the kids when they haven't left the roost




Letting grown children live at home can be the best deal for them and you, as long as getting them launched remains the goal. For Mary Ann and Jim Lakeman of Buffalo, New York, it made perfect sense that their daughter, Melinda, would remain at home after high school and build up cash. While the Lakemans never asked her to pay her keep, Melinda helped out with care of her grandfather as well as the shopping, cooking, and cleaning.

That was ten years ago, and Melinda's still at home. The problem: she began her working life by racking up $8,000 in credit card debt, helped along by big weekends getting away from the folks. Today, having trimmed her debt, she's at long last looking for an apartment, and has no illusions. "I know it will be a struggle," she says, "so I'm doing whatever I can to lower my bills."

With good communication, allowing young adults to live at home offers parents an opportunity to teach fiscal responsibility. It also gives children "financial breathing room," says Tamara Draut, author of Strapped: Why America's 20- and 30-Somethings Can't Get Ahead (Doubleday, 2005). "If it's an option, let your kids stay as long as possible."