Photo by Edward Biamonte
|
Happily Ever Laughter
By Yakov Smirnoff, January & February 2008
Grandkids getting all the love? Yakov Smirnoff says you'd better do something...or you'll be lonely
|
Q: My wife’s dream has always been to spend as much time as possible with our grandchildren. Trouble is, she’s ten years older than I am, and as soon as she retired, she basically moved 350 miles away to help our daughter with her kids. Now, my job keeps me here while my wife comes home for only a few days every two weeks. I find myself resenting her occasional forays home, but she seems oblivious to any stress in our relationship. I’ve tried, but I can’t find work near our daughter’s home, and I do not want to ask my wife to choose between me and our grandchildren. How can I get us back together? —Kinda Lonely
A: The first thing you do, the next time you’re alone with your wife, is tell her how you feel (and I don’t mean bloated or gassy). Help her understand that she is valued not only as a wonderful grandmother but also as a beautiful wife. Tell her your house does not feel like home when she is not there, and how much you miss her presence.
Did I say presents? Couldn’t hurt. Appeal to all five of her senses: taste, sight, smell, hearing, and touch. Chocolates could sweeten the deal, taste-wise. Flowers will please her senses of sight and smell (a cactus might not be the best selection). To appeal to her sense of hearing, remember the songs you enjoyed together. If she’s a Beach Boys fan, invite her to one of their concerts here in Branson, Missouri. I’ll see if I can help you with a discount.
As for her sense of touch, if you do all these things, you’ll touch her heart with your sincerity, and I’ll bet she’ll be more than receptive to working out a grandchildren-hubby schedule you can both live with. And remember to find ways to bring laughter into your relationship. Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Snore, and you sleep alone.
Q: My wife often breaks down crying when we disagree about small issues. Other times, she gets angry and I don’t know why. Why are women so emotional? —Baffled
A: This is an age-old question that has troubled men, including the author of this column, for thousands of years. (But I’m not quite that old.) Scientists now know that the male and female brains are designed differently. Compared with men, women have more neurons in the part of the brain that deals with emotion and memory, which means emotion is a bigger part of their thought processes. Men do not understand this. So when women laugh, men laugh. When women cry, men run. You might relate to this scene: the husband says to his wife, “What’s wrong?” The wife says, “Nothing.” The husband says, “Come on. Something is wrong.” And she says, “Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you!” This causes even more confusion. Women want men to read between the lines. Give us a break. We can’t even color between the lines!
Q: When it comes to TV football, I feel as if my husband has sent me to the locker room. How do I get his attention? —Sidelined
A: Have you considered tackling him? You could ask him to choose just a couple of games to watch live, and have him record the rest to view when you’re not around. This could provide you two with more time in the huddle. (But please, no cleats!)
Yakov Smirnoff, known to millions for his TV, film, and stage appearances, earned his master’s degree in applied positive psychology from the University of Pennsylvania. He conducts “Love and Laughter” seminars nationwide and at his theater in Branson, Missouri.
|
