Illustration by Francisco Caceres
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When the Kids Play Cupid
By Laura Daily, September-October 2003
Sons and daughters can make the best matchmakers
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There was a definite spark when National Public Radio newscaster Carl Kasell met psychotherapist Mary Ann Foster at a wedding five years ago. Kasell never suspected that the meeting was arranged by Foster's son, Brian, who had met the broadcaster at a party and engineered the introductions. Kasell and Mary Ann—he a widower, she a divorcée—hit it off, and Brian nudged his mom to invite him to dinner. "Brian has always looked out for me," she says. "When he was 10 he tried to fix me up with his pediatrician." It took 25 more years for Brian to be successful. Kasell and Foster married this May. "I wasn't aware he was sizing me up," recalls Kasell, 69, "but now I thank him for it."
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Call it a new variation of "meet the parents." As the average American lives longer, adult children with single parents often feel responsible for Mom or Dad, sometimes to the point of playing matchmaker, says Susan Newman, Ph.D., author of Nobody's Baby Now: Reinventing Your Adult Relationship With Your Mother and Father. The Right One/Together, one of the nation's largest dating services, has seen the 50-plus crowd boom to more than 40 percent of its membership, often due to kids purchasing memberships for their parents. Cupid's Coach, a Southern California matchmaking service, says inquiries on behalf of parents doubled in its second year of business.
TV is playing the dating game as well. NBC auditioned hundreds of twentysomethings willing to help their single fathers find a mate for Who Wants to Marry My Dad?, a summer reality series. Producer Scott Satin says he was overwhelmed by the response to his casting call. "The adult kids kept saying, 'If women just knew my dad existed, they'd be lining up to date him. He's such a great guy, but he won't go to bars or search on the Internet.' "
Not all of Cupid's arrows fly straight. Steve Weagle, 52, of Charlton, Massachusetts, was twice fixed up by his daughter Jessica. The first date never returned his calls, the second "wanted nothing to do with me," laughs Weagle, who after joining a dating service is in a long-term relationship. If things don't work out this time, Weagle says he might let Jessica take another stab at playing matchmaker.
When Beatriz Ohnsman's widowed mother, Josefita, searched for the perfect mate, Beatriz not only helped craft the online ad, she shot Josefita's photos and vetted the replies—even the love letters. "The responsibility made me nervous," admits Ohnsman. "What if some of the men I suggested didn't work out?"
Not to worry. With Beatriz's help, Josefita recently became a June bride.
For more insights on love and romance, read AARP The Magazine's Modern Love column.
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