Cartoons: Roz Chast
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Caregiving Resource Guide
By Dimitra Kessenides
Once you start to look, you'll find assistance of every kind.
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THERE'S A WEALTH OF RESOURCES AT HAND FOR CAREGIVERS—you have only to locate and take advantage of them. We've looked at the range of what's out there and present a sampling of the best. Use this guide as a jumping-off point to get to the information you need, and keep these general rules in mind when seeking help and advice:
Stay local. Most state and federal funds are funneled through local agencies, says Bill Arnone, a partner in the personal financial counseling division of Ernst & Young. And if you want to keep an elderly parent in his or her own community, it is especially important to rely on the resources in that area.
Question everything. Talk to fellow caregivers, neighbors, friends and doctors to get leads and suggestions, but "don't blindly rely on things people tell you," suggests Suzanne von Eck—a New York City actress in her 40s and director of a theater company—who cared for her mother until her death last year. "You have to do a lot of research and educate yourself as much as you can."
Let one resource lead you to another. Most Web sites, books, phone help lines and people you turn to will point you to additional sources for guidance. So zeroing in on one or two of the more than 30 contacts offered below can get you most of what you'll need.
GETTING STARTED
- Administration on Aging, 800-677-1116. Extensive links to local agencies on aging, which administer most programs and services relating to the care of the elderly, as well as additional resources for every stage of caregiving.
- And Thou Shalt Honor: The Caregiver's Companion, edited by Beth Witrogen McLeod. The companion book to the eponymous PBS special that aired October 9, 2002, this comprehensive manual covers every aspect of caregiving and includes checklists, resources, personal stories and expert advice. You can order a copy of the broadcast or the book at www.thoushalthonor.org.
- The Complete Idiot's Guide to Caring for Aging Parents, by Linda Colvin Rhodes. Answers most questions about caregiving, including how to navigate Medicare and Medicaid and manage caregiving from a distance. Also gives details of housing options and tips on dealing with legal issues.
- AARP, 800-424-3410. Everything from fact sheets and articles on caregiving topics to an online store (get AARP discounts at www.goldviolin.com) offering telephone amplifiers, home monitors, shower benches and more.
Check out these AARP articles online:
"Talking About Independent Living." Practical advice on starting and continuing a dialogue with parents about their living arrangements, the most important points to cover and dealing with parents' reluctance to talk about these topics.
"Balancing Work and Caregiving." How to discuss the demands of caregiving with employers to get more flexibility from your job.
"Caregiving: Driving and Transportation Concerns." A set of questions to ponder in assessing your parents' driving skills. It outlines how to encourage them to drive more safely or to consider stopping.
AARP e-mail newsletters. The free LifeAnswers newsletter includes topics of interest to caregivers, updated every two weeks.
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