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No Chair, But…
By William R. Newcott, March-April 2006
Not everybody goes home with La Chaise d’Or trophy. But how could we fail to mention…
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Who's Your Daddy? Romantic-Gap Prize
Steve Martin, 60, and Claire Danes, 26, in Shop Girl. Even if you're rich and witty, you still look stupid chasing a young babe.
Woman of the Year
Although Joan Allen won't be 50 until August, here's honorable mention for three Oscar-caliber performances: in Off the Map, Yes, and The Upside of Anger.
Best DVD Rerelease
Dracula (1931). Aside from the film, this disk includes a bonus Spanish-language version that was shot on the same set after Bela Lugosi went home each night.
Medal of Bravery
Jane Seymour, 54, for her fearlessly sexy romp as the senator's wife in Wedding Crashers.
Not-Scared-Shirtless Prize
Liam Neeson, 53, in Batman Begins, and Dennis Quaid, 51, in Yours, Mine, and Ours. Stripped to the waist, they're still something for the ladeez.
Remake-From-Hell Award
The Honeymooners. Sure, Cedric the Entertainer is a funny guy, but whoever thought up this disastrous remake oughtta be sent to the MOON!
Worst Roommate
Tim Robbins as the crackpot basement refugee in War of the Worlds—and Tom Cruise for his rather permanent way of dealing with him.
Christopher Walken 911 Award
Mediocre flicks saved by his mere presence: 2 (Domino and Romance and Cigarettes). Last year's total: 4. Total since 2002: 11.
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