Illustration by Drew Friedman
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By the Way…
By Bill Newcott, March & April 2007
Not everybody goes home with an award. But how could we fail to mention…
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Best Remake: The Painted Veil It has breathtaking Chinese countryside and poignant performances (by Edward Norton and Naomi Watts)—none of which applies to the 1934 Garbo potboiler.
Most Pointless Remake: Poseidon This one had a better wave than the 1972 original, but Josh Lucas is no Ernest Borgnine.
Best Reason to Stay for the Credits: Dick Van Dyke’s very cool hip-hop dance routine following Night at the Museum.
Who’s-Your-Daddy Award: Venus Peter O’Toole: 74. Jodie Whittaker: 24. You do the math.
Most Welcome Rematch: Rocky Balboa Sly Stallone struck a roundhouse blow for everyone who’s been told “You’re too old!”
Medal for Bravery: Gary Marshall The 72-year-old veteran writer-director-actor really took the plunge when he went skinny-dipping in Keeping Up With the Steins.
Call-of-Nature Trophy: The Good Shepherd (167 minutes), The Departed (151 minutes), Flags of Our Fathers (131 minutes). Run times for grownup movies should take into account grownup bladder function.
Funniest/Saddest Line: Little Miss Sunshine: SHERYL (after Frank’s suicide try): “I’m so glad you’re still here.” FRANK: “Well, that makes one of us.”
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