Photograph by Eddie Adams
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Bill Chills
By Ana Figueroa, January-February 2004
No coffee. No chili dogs. No trademark stogies. In his bittersweet life as hubby, dad, and new granddad, Bill Cosby holds on by letting go
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It's a few hours before a performance in Canton, Ohio, and Bill Cosby
relaxes in the luxury RV that serves as his dressing room. His face is a bit
stubbly, and he's dressed in the outfit he'll later perform in: gray
sweats, a gray Amherst College T-shirt, white athletic socks, and sandals.
Cosby sits at the dining table, one leg stretched out coolly along the
banquette.
Just when did this man cross the threshold from entertainer to legend? Was
it in 2002, when he received the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the
nation's highest civilian honor, for his contributions to American culture?
Or was it in 1984, when his groundbreaking series The Cosby Show first
aired on NBC? Some might place the date two decades earlier with I Spy,
when Cosby became the first African American to star in a network
series—or even a bit earlier than that, when his records first invaded
American living rooms and helped shape a generation's sense of humor.
No matter when it happened, Cosby's gifts have become a part of the
culture. And now, a new generation is growing up on Cosby. Little Bill,
an animated series based on his books of the same name, debuted four years ago
on Nickelodeon. In January, another animated series comes to Nick at Nite.
Called Fatherhood, it is based on Cosby's 1986 bestseller of the
same name.
The prolific Cosby also released two different but very personal books last
year. Friends of a Feather is a children's fable about a group of
birds that live near a big rock. I Am What I Ate...And I'm
Frightened!!! is his take on the lifestyle changes that come with growing
older.
At 66, Cosby seems to have grown into his two chosen roles: America's
clown and its sage. Still mourning the random 1997 roadside murder of his only
son, Ennis, who was pursuing a doctorate in special education, Cosby takes an
obvious joy in his wife, their four adult daughters, and the grandchildren who
began arriving last year. Says actress Rita Moreno, a friend for 35 years,
"He is one of the wisest people I've ever met. I honestly think that
if Bill wasn't a performer, he'd make a tremendous
psychologist."
Q. What are your passions right now?
A. Writing. Writing is more and more my passion. It's quite interesting.
I just finished a book, I Am What I Ate...And I'm Frightened!!! In the
past, I was so busy with so many different things—a movie or television
show, radio, commercials. Now, I have the time that these things used to take.
And I have a brand-new wife.
Q. What about Camille? You've been married to her for 40 years,
right?
A. Oh, I didn't divorce the first one, but I have a brand-new wife. And
this wife is better than the last one. You see, two of our daughters had babies
this year. Camille is now a 59-year-old AARP grandmother. She will leave me at
any time, any moment, to go see a grandchild. It starts with "I have to
go." She takes the plane. Leaves me with nothing. She knows where I am,
'cause I'm stranded. And then she calls me and tells me how much people
weigh and how they smell. And, how gorgeous. She talks about life. There are
things that she's saying about life that she's never really related to
me.
Q. What kinds of things is your wife saying now?
A. "Life is precious." That's what she said.
I said, "Well, at any time, did you think that when you were with
me?"
She said, "Listen." That's all she said.
Q. So this is the next step, after raising her own children.
A. No, she's still raising them. These children are now an inch away
from 40. And I don't know at what point it happened, but she threw me into
the pot with the children. I was getting the same tone of voice that they were
getting. I was being told to do things that I was going to already do. This was
going to be my life. When the Grim Reaper would visit me, he would take me away
from this. But then a daughter of ours had a child. And I got a new wife.
Q. What's life like for Mr. Camille Cosby these days?
A. Well, I think that a husband can miss a wife but enjoy her absence. I do
notice that if I want to get up out of a chair, there is no voice saying,
"Where are you going?" If she is there, she says, "Where are you
going?"
And then, it's like I'm in the Navy. "Permission to go to the
refrigerator, please."
"Permission granted."
My wife is the controller of the universe. I miss her. But we are having a
good time—me, myself, and I. I can do anything I want to do. From 6 p.m.
on, I turn on the Westerns channel.
Q. Now that you're a grandfather, are we going to be hearing stories
about the granddaughters in your material?
A. I don't know, but I've already been blamed for something. And I
don't remember doing it. The older grandbaby, when she was about four
months old, was sitting in her mother's lap in my sitting room. And the
mother says, "Dad, you have the best ventilated room in the
house"—which sounds to me like I'm going to be put out of my
room. I said, "Yes, with the windows open, the breeze comes through."
And all of a sudden, the baby makes a loud sound. [Cosby emits a rattling
growl.] So, I did it right back. We had a conversation of about 20 of them.
Ever since that day, I have been blamed for the child not talking. "Dad
is the person who taught her how to growl," they say.
Q. Maybe she is going to follow in Grandpa's footsteps?
A. No, it doesn't sound like it, 'cause she's doing this for
free.
Of course, in doing my own investigation, which I'm famous for, I've
found that the real culprit happens to be the cows. There are two farms near
where we live, and when she comes to visit, our daughter pushes our old
grandchild around. On one of my walks, I passed by the cows, and they made that
same sound. [Growls.]
So, that's where she got it from. Not her grandfather.
Q. Do people believe this theory?
A. No, because the story is much better if it came from the grandfather.
Q. Everyone I've spoken with about you remarks about the respect you
have for your wife.
A. I'm a frightened person. I can never understand women who tell men to
get in touch with their feminine side. I'm from the old school. I don't
have a feminine side. I've been trained to be a male too long. I mean, who
are you supposed to be if you're going to become feminine?
But after 40 years of marriage, I realized that my life is more secure if I
get in touch with the wife side of myself. All that takes is remembering what
she likes and what she doesn't like. What you shouldn't say, which will
lead to a long, arduous conversation.
The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side,
and that's when you see them behave in a quiet way. They stop arguing. They
are able to measure in an instant what is important and what is not
important.
Q. So you are a wise man.
A. Exactly. But that took a long time. Even I will tell you that it took a
long time.
Q. How is your cholesterol? You write about it in I Am What I
Ate...
A. I have it under control, because of my eight-, six-, and 10-mile walks. I
break sweat—at the thought of going on these walks.
Q. You started these walks after your cholesterol shot up?
A. I used to run. But I stopped eating chili dogs, and chicken sandwiches
from Wendy's. I gave those up. Gave up coffee. And cigars. Dead Man
Walking. This is about my sixth year of not smoking. Three months no
coffee.
Q. Has it been hard to make the changes? I know you love good
food.
A. I'm all right. I miss the taste of a good short triple latte. But you
do these things if it makes the difference between living and dying.
Q. So what does your doctor let you eat? Or is it your wife?
A. Most doctors don't know what to tell you to eat. As I say in the
book, a lot of doctors need to really clarify how long is "once in a
while." You hear it all the time: "You can have ice cream once in a
while." But for a person whose hypertension is there because they're
eating a pint a day, you're talking to someone who needs clarification. We
are human beings, and we will find a way to say, "Well, I had it
'once,' and now I think it's time for 'a while.'"
Q. Have you faced any difficulties in your new exercise regime?
A. You know, I once caught my sneaker in the treadmill. I did this spin
underneath. I was able to grab the bar with the left hand, but my upper body
torqued, and I missed the other handle.
I wound up sitting, boom—thank goodness I still have a good rump, so
when I landed it didn't hurt so much. But I knew that I had to get away
from the treadmill, because that'll take your skin off. So I leaned
forward—boy, I looked like a chocolate Hershey coming off the assembly
line.
Q. Tell me about your new children's book, Friends of a
Feather, which your daughter Erika illustrated.
A. She is, by and large, a painter. I looked around and the idea came. I
have a daughter. She went to art school. Why can't she draw these birds the
way I want them? So I called her and asked her. She said, "What did Mom
say?" So, her mother became her agent. I kept saying to my wife, "Why
am I paying her this kind of money?"
Q. You figured you had already paid for her education. This was a return
on your investment, right?
A. Now you're thinking like a husband. So, she decided she was going to
do it. I told her what the birds look like. She drew them. I also think that
this book, even when you're in your 20s, this is a good book. It's
about who are you performing for? What are you putting above real love and true
friendship? This book is for every person who decides to do things for people
who mean nothing to them and who excludes those who will truly be there when
they break down. It's applicable to any form of addiction, whether it's
heroin, alcohol, or sex. You have to understand that the people who really,
really love you have to be there.
Q. Your son, Ennis, had a lot to do with this book.
A. Yes. Ennis's murder was in 1997. That was the Christmas that we could
not go home to Massachusetts. Instead, we went to an island retreat. I was just
sitting watching these birds, swooping, diving. And there was this rock. The
next morning, I saw one washed up, dead. And the fellow cleaning the beach told
me sometimes they get too close to the rock. So, I began to tell the story
about the bird that would come too close to the rock, daring the rock.
That's when the story came to me. During a very, very, very bad time.
Someone was removed from our lives, someone so wonderful and pure. And was
removed from being able to make changes in the lives of American children. He
was a strong character builder.
Q. This fable came to you, then, at a time in your family's life when
you were the most vulnerable?
A. Yes, very much so. As well as the Little Bill show. When Little Bill
says, "Hello, friend," that was Ennis's favorite
greeting.
Q. Are you excited to be doing the new Nick at Nite series
Fatherhood?
A. I am more thankful to the people who believe in my writing. I'm just
thankful that in my last few decades there are some young people in this
business who understand and say, "Yeah, Bill Cosby is funny. He knows
funny. Let's see if he can deliver on this."
Freelancer Ana Figueroa lives in Whittier, California. Features Editor
William R. Newcott contributed to this story.
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